Ever feel like no matter what you do, where you go, there is a whirlwind of chaotic energy following you around? Maybe it's just me. I hope it's not just me. Sometimes I feel like I must look like Linus to outsiders. Not in the fact I have a cloud of dust and dirt following me around, but that my thoughts and energy are so erratic that it must appear this way.
That's how I have felt the past two days. Yesterday the energy following me around was so negative and filled with so much pain and sorrow, it was as though I could feel my heart being shattered into millions of pieces. I feared all the superglue in the world wouldn't put them back into place. I knew that even with all this pain and disappointment there was no sense in dwelling in it and allowing it to consume me. So after giving myself permission to 'bawl my eyes out', I put on my 'big girl pants' and came up with an action plan for today. I
decided I would treat myself to a little shopping spree in hopes that spending money on materialistic things would make me feel momentarily better. Turns out life had a hidden agenda for me...
The day started with me snuggled up by the fireplace debating if I really was ready to head out into this awful cold weather we've been having. Then what at first looked like rain, quickly formed into big giant wet snowflakes!! In OCTOBER?! Are you kidding me Mother Nature? Well, my main theme in my blogs is over coming challenges. So up the stairs I went got a super hot shower to warm me up, bundled up and headed out into the winter not-so-wonderful-land. First stop - the gas station! My second time pumping gas, and it felt as natural as brushing my teeth daily. Funny now thinking back at how scared I was and how much I allowed myself to get so worked up over something like that. With a few other little detours, I soon hit up the local thrift stores. I love shopping sprees there. I can buy more for less (who doesn't love that?) all while being green and recycling clothes. The best part too is you never know what treasures you will find in a thrift store that aren't "in style" right now at the mall but fit your personal style to a T. Bonus for me!
I headed to the next store, where I found this gem for only a dollar!
Now my camera isn't working to upload a picture of the actual little statue, but this is very similar to the one I have, only far more detailed in the textiles. It is named Abhaya Mudra and is the Gesture of Fearlessness. Well how perfect is that for me right now? I knew if anything I was meant to come into this store to find this statue. Turns out that wasn't my only calling. The owner of the store, Dorthy, and I struck up a conversation over the statue and before you knew it 2 hours had past and our conversation had done anything but reach a lull. The connection was so strong and so quick that we both knew life wanted us to meet today. So as I learned to let go of a person and negative energy yesterday (I've been putting all my thoughts and energy into the idea that my family would be joining me here in December, but reality check says it will be at a much later time. When, we still do not know. Oh that makes me sad) but by clearing the energy that I've been putting into moving them here, I finally started allowing new people to enter my life. I wasn't opening up myself for different opportunities before today. I guess my heart to heart last night, and my change of focus today lead me to Dorthy. I am beyond excited, and she is as well. I just hope when I ring her tomorrow she actually exists! We kept laughing at each other, she would make a statement and I would say "NO! That's me!" or vise versa making the whole encounter that much more surreal. She told me she feels as though meeting me is like meeting herself when she was my age. As we spoke, I told her how I am finally starting to feel the paint coming to my hands again. Turns out many moons ago, she was a painter as well. So here I go, I'm changing into my painting clothes, I have the space heaters on bust and I'm getting messy with my paints!
Hope you all had a fabulous day. You really have no idea what's waiting for you until you clear the energy and put yourself out there!