Wednesday, October 5, 2011

While Visions of Paintings Danced in My Head

It was a cold and dreary day here in the small, quaint town of Amherst. The kind of days where even if you sat on top of the fire there was no warming up your bones. I even threw myself in a tanning bed in hopes that would do something. No dice. I did however learn that I can drive in the rain. So that's a plus I guess? Take that daily challenge. haha. Actually my daily challenge was FAR more intense than that however rumor has it that a girl needs to  keep some level of mystery so I'm going to stick with that theory. 

I spent some of my day using familiar tools in a not so familiar way. I had my "palette knife" and my "plaster" and my "canvas" only instead of creating art, I filled holes and cracks in the walls of some rooms that need some TLC, before a fresh coat of paint can be splashed (ok not splashed, more so painted with precision). Pretty soon there will be office space available above the gym for some luckily local business to flourish in. I decided to volunteer some spare time and help breathe life back into the rooms. Imagine if all that wall space could be turned into paintings and not just one colour..ohh my!

I think the movement of plaster on the wall awakened my inner need to paint. Since moving here a month and 17 days ago (but I don't see anyone counting haha), I have been unable to put anything on canvas. Despite the help from Beth in transforming a section of her basement into a Spidey Cave,  the big shopping spree to stock up on canvas, paints, and brushes. Nothing was bringing my visions of paintings through my hand, and the brush and onto the canvas. Now for me, that's beyond the valley of frustrating. Why is it that even after creating a space just for me and my paints to play in the magic isn't happening? I even took the time to smudge the space. Still nothing. I'm not a fan of forcing paintings out of myself. I know that when they come naturally, I feel more rewarded in the therapeutic process it offers me. But for the love of Aquaman please let me paint something soon, even if it's a stick man!! Something has been blocking my creativity and I have a funny feeling it's the one thing I rely on to paint with. My emotions. I had some personal challenges to overcome today. I validated the feelings in my heart and gave my heart a voice to express itself. In turn, it thanked me by giving me new ideas of paintings, and even a strong itch to start.

I guess that's another lesson learned today. By taking time to listen to my heart and express the emotions I have bottled up over the past few weeks, I was able to release the toxic energy that was building up and hopefully made room for creative energy. I'd head down to the cave now to paint, but honestly, this nest of blankies I've wormed my way into is far too cozy and warm to leave for a basement right now. Hopefully a good nights sleep will be the icing on the cake and tomorrow I'll be covered from head to toe in paints! Maybe some will even make it on canvas!


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