You Can't Heal What You Can't Feel

I have been on a journey of healing for over 11 years now. In 2009 I began to take my healing process far more seriously in hopes that one day I could finally liberate myself from my painful past and the baggage I had been dragging around with me. It was evident that my old ways of thinking, and behaving were no longer helpful. It was what I was taught, grew up with - it was all that I knew and it wasn't healthy for me.  I opened my heart, mind, and soul to new ways of thinking and behaving. Even if at first I thought it was the most foolish thing I heard of and had no idea how it could help. Turns out these suggestions, methods of healing, and advice were the furthest thing from foolish and played key roles in helping me move toward the healthier life I wanted to create for myself. Feelings used to scare me on a level that I'm not even sure how to explain. They would wash over me unexpectedly  and I had no idea how to get through. So I decided to learn. Never in my life have I been more honest with myself and the rewards of doing so are showing up in my daily life. I have learned that feelings serve a purpose. I am learning how to listen to and validate these feelings The more we explore these emotions, get to understand how they help us, or hinder us in some circumstances, we can learn how to work with them together as a team. This creates opportunity for us to grow and learn from our experiences while staying in tune with our body in a healthy manner. I hope you find today's excerpt from Bloch to be a helpful one.

The following is an exact excerpt from the book Listening To Your Inner Voice by Douglas Bloch. I in no way possess any ownership of the following. I am simply sharing the thoughts, expressions and words of an author who has inspired me.

You Can't Heal What You Can't Feel

 

You are like a diamond that is continuously being polished and perfected. As this purification proceeds, old thoughts and negative patterns rise to the surface to be released. Past unfinished business must be completed. Old traumas that have been stored in the body as to be discharged. 

This is not a bad thing - far from it. The fact that painful events are being re-experienced is a sign that healing is taking place. Although you may feel tempted to run from these feelings, let yourself experience them. As you allow yourself to feel the pain, the pain diminishes and eventually disappears. 

Spirit is always helping you to release what you no longer need. Let go of the resistance and surrender to the process. Complete the past and move on. Once you have done the work, you will never have to repeat it. How good it feels to be free!

Affirmations

1. I feel my feelings.
2. I move towards my feelings, knowing they are my friends.
3. Better the pain than to remain the same.
4. Experiencing the truth of my past liberates me from it's influence.
5. I emerge from my ordeal healed and transformed.
6. Your Own _____________ 

While Visions of Paintings Danced in My Head

It was a cold and dreary day here in the small, quaint town of Amherst. The kind of days where even if you sat on top of the fire there was no warming up your bones. I even threw myself in a tanning bed in hopes that would do something. No dice. I did however learn that I can drive in the rain. So that's a plus I guess? Take that daily challenge. haha. Actually my daily challenge was FAR more intense than that however rumor has it that a girl needs to  keep some level of mystery so I'm going to stick with that theory. 

I spent some of my day using familiar tools in a not so familiar way. I had my "palette knife" and my "plaster" and my "canvas" only instead of creating art, I filled holes and cracks in the walls of some rooms that need some TLC, before a fresh coat of paint can be splashed (ok not splashed, more so painted with precision). Pretty soon there will be office space available above the gym for some luckily local business to flourish in. I decided to volunteer some spare time and help breathe life back into the rooms. Imagine if all that wall space could be turned into paintings and not just one colour..ohh my!

I think the movement of plaster on the wall awakened my inner need to paint. Since moving here a month and 17 days ago (but I don't see anyone counting haha), I have been unable to put anything on canvas. Despite the help from Beth in transforming a section of her basement into a Spidey Cave,  the big shopping spree to stock up on canvas, paints, and brushes. Nothing was bringing my visions of paintings through my hand, and the brush and onto the canvas. Now for me, that's beyond the valley of frustrating. Why is it that even after creating a space just for me and my paints to play in the magic isn't happening? I even took the time to smudge the space. Still nothing. I'm not a fan of forcing paintings out of myself. I know that when they come naturally, I feel more rewarded in the therapeutic process it offers me. But for the love of Aquaman please let me paint something soon, even if it's a stick man!! Something has been blocking my creativity and I have a funny feeling it's the one thing I rely on to paint with. My emotions. I had some personal challenges to overcome today. I validated the feelings in my heart and gave my heart a voice to express itself. In turn, it thanked me by giving me new ideas of paintings, and even a strong itch to start.

I guess that's another lesson learned today. By taking time to listen to my heart and express the emotions I have bottled up over the past few weeks, I was able to release the toxic energy that was building up and hopefully made room for creative energy. I'd head down to the cave now to paint, but honestly, this nest of blankies I've wormed my way into is far too cozy and warm to leave for a basement right now. Hopefully a good nights sleep will be the icing on the cake and tomorrow I'll be covered from head to toe in paints! Maybe some will even make it on canvas!