Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Thoughtful Tuesdays: Moving Through Loss

In all honesty I wanted to avoid posting today's blog due to the weight it carries. I am observing with curiosity as I feel how this reading translates into my mind, body, and soul. It is a topic I tend to shy away from as a result of the overwhelming emotions that come with it. I have experienced many losses in my life and only recently have I learned that when I do embrace the loss with a balance of sadness and joy, the pain becomes more manageable (that doesn't mean it's easy to do, and it takes a lot of willingness to do this).  In all honesty it started with a quote from the incredibly talented Dr. Seuss, "Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." I was entering a transition in my life where I had to let go of so much to move forward. While I left a lot behind me, I was able to take the memories, the experiences, and the lessons learned with me. It helped me move forward. Now I have gained more tools to help the experience of moving through loss. While the pain remains just as raw and strong, I know that through my actions I can impact the experience in a more positive manner and move through. I know I'll be ok.

The following is an exact excerpt from the book Listening To Your Inner Voice by Douglas Bloch. I in no way possess any ownership of the following. I am simply sharing the thoughts, expressions and words of an author who has inspired me.



 Moving Through Loss

The nature of the material world is impermanence.  Everything that begins in time will end in time. Nothing lasts forever. To this extent, we all experience loss. 

But the pain of loss does not have to create  long-term suffering. If we embrace the pain and feel our grief, a remarkable thing happens - the pain gradually recedes. This is what is meant by the saying, "The only way out of the pain is to embrace the pain."  It is when we attempt to avoid the pain that suffering arises. 

Another approach to loss is to appreciate the joy that you gained from that which is now gone - whether it is a person, an animal, or a phase of life that just ended. As a child who lost his cat remarked, "I miss my kitty. I'm glad I had him though. I'm glad he had the chance to live here and be my friend."

Finally, realize that the essence of a material form, which is love, never dies. In this sense, there is no such thing as loss. This is why Christ left his disciples with his words, "I am with you always, even into the end of the world." In our lives as well, whatever we have loved can never leave us. 


Affirmations

1. I allow myself to feel my feelings.
2. As I embrace my pain and sadness, I begin to feel better.
3. Although I grieve for what I lost, I know that a greater good will follow.
4. I am grateful that I had had the chance to love.
5. That which I love is always with me.
6. Your Own ________________

2 comments:

  1. Again...such a huge "quote " from Dr Suess..."Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." Once again, makes total sense, but isn't always easily achieved! Thank you SJ
    love Kim :)

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  2. I agree completely Kim. I've learned over the past 13 years though that sometimes the most difficult thing to do, or most challenging, is the most worth while and rewarding.

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